Dancing Queen

Over the last few days, one thing about Gabi has become very apparent. She loves to dance and loves music!! Every single time she hears music from anywhere she starts swaying and dancing. She might be crawling and stop mid-travel to rock back and forth. A couple of her toys have music and she absolutely loves them. If you hum or sing to her, she'll rock to the beat.

The H.'s had to move over to the Westin today because supposedly there is no room at the inn. We are very sad to have them leave us, but we'll join them tomorrow for swimming at their pool and whatever else we can think of. As they moved, they bequeathed many-a-treasure to the A.'s. One of those treasures was a walker, which Short Stuff LOVES! She can really only go backwards, but that's something. And she is soooo proud. What an accomplishment for someone who has to use the lowest possible height on the walker. She's a wild woman and we truly are going to have our hands full the bigger she gets.

We had a very successful meeting with our attorney and translator today. We hope to have the appropriate paperwork by the end of the week and re-submitted to PGN by early next week. Please pray that this happens as expediently as possible.

Gabi is a joy! Every day there is a more incredible discovery about her than yesterday. Her personality is blossoming before our eyes. We love watching every new adventure with her. She's so alert and tuned into her surroundings. Literally, nothing gets past her. We watch some of the other babies and they don't seem to be quite as aware of that. But Gabi's all over it. She also sat up from a supine position all by herself today. What a strong little girl she is. She tells jokes and can play forever on her own. She sleeps like a dream and eats like a champ.

I just looked down and saw her sitting next to Ed on the floor playing with her toy. She's facing away and every time the music stops, she reaches back and grabs his belly just to make sure he's still there. It's so sweet! She has really developed quite a crush on her daddy. I'm a bit jealous, I have to say. She's such a snuggly, loving little person. Ed just told her that she'd need a screwdriver for that hatch on the toy. That's where the batteries go. What an odd man. But a great dad!

Ok, on with the show. More pics of our Dancing Queen!

Pics and Video

A Banner Day

The day started with a big first for us. Gabi Sol sat in a highchair for the first time with us. She couldn't sit up on her own last trip and now that she can we thought we'd try it. We hesitated before today because she is so tiny and the hotel has those wooden platform highchairs and I thought she'd need tons of blankets to support her. Nope! They brought one of the chairs out that also had a U-shaped cushion and she LOVED it! She thought she was really big stuff. And she proceeded to eat a bunch of bananas off the buffet. It's so cool to see the changes in her. She kept standing up on the crossbar that her feet were touching. What a squirrelly girl!

She's been a doll all day. Ed went with Rob and Amy to the Wal-Martesque store down the street. Gabi and I hung out by the pool. She played with her toys, ate and took a great nap. When they returned all the H. kids came down and we all went swimming. You should see this ridiculous crew. We scare other families away. But we have such a good time!!! We couldn't be here with a better match of friends. And Jay and Drew make me want boys. They're so wild and funny. I just love them.

Tonight we're ordering in from this place called Pollo Campero. Apparently, it's to die for. When you get on the plane to go back to the states, there is always at least one person with takeout Pollo Campero. We're going to hang out in the H.'s suite AKA Disneyland and enjoy a night in. I think there's some football on and the girls can play. It'll be a nice laidback night.



A few pics from the day so far. By the way, Gabi's newest party trick and sticking her tongue out. Get used to it-- there's a lot of that going on. And it's much harder this trip to get good pictures of Gabi because she's so busy and active that most of them turn out blurry. I think it's probably fair to say that the ratio of good to not-so-good is 1:7.

The Good and the Unfortunate

We had a very relaxing day today. Gabi has a stuffed up nose and she woke up at 3 a.m. for a bottle. She hasn't done this with us since she was 2 months old. That sort of knocked our schedule out of whack since she then slept an hour later. Gabi might have had the most unfortunate case of bedhead I've ever seen. Still cute as can be-- even with her lovely locks. We had breakfast, played and she took a short morning nap. We headed out to the pool for the afternoon and hung out with various other adoptive families.

Eventually, the H.'s came down to visit and we all went swimming. We're fortunate to have gorgeous weather, despite being prepared for it to be in the 60s and 70s. The word on the street is that this is very unusual. Gabi LOVED the pool again. She'll do anything to be able to kick those legs and hang out in her float. She's such a little fish!

Emma H. got her pink slip today!!! This means that she now officially has her Embassy appointment on January 14th. She'll be an American citizen when she touches down on American soil on January 16th. We're so excited this adorable little girl is going home to be with her parents and big brothers forever!

Gabi continues to amaze us with her independence and easy going nature. She plays like a champ. After our time outside, we returned to our room to watch her new Baby Einstein Mozart DVD and take a nap. She loved this video! We've talked about how much kids love these things. It's like crack for babies. Sort of unexplainable. At one point, there is a pendulum that swings back and forth and Gabi rocked side to side right on beat. What a funny girl! She also danced when Daddy sang a funny song to her today. She loves music. She and I both fell asleep watching the video-- a much needed rest from our time in the sun.

We went to dinner with Rob and Amy at the Westin hotel a couple of blocks away. It was delightful and as always, we had a great time with them. I truly wish we were going to be closer to them geographically. They've been such a wonderful support and comic relief for us. And their boys are a riot. Drew loves Ed and Jay and I are buddies. We love spending time with them.

All in all, not a bad day with our little beauty. Her mosquito bites are getting better and her nose wasn't as runny when she went to bed tonight. We're praying she gets an uninterrupted night of sleep.

Enjoy the pictures!

This is my favorite of the day! Notice how she's holding me and I'm holding her. I could eat her alive...

Nine Months and Counting

Today is Gabriella Lilisol's 9 month birthday. She is a very big girl. Well, big in personality, small in stature. She is crawling and shaking her head no and very aware of her surroundings. Gabi's very agile for such a tiny person. She had us a little worried for the first couple of hours because she wasn't too sure of us. But once we got her playing and over that early evening hump, she was right back to that sassy personality we know and love. She's such a joy to watch and interact with. We are so lucky!!


Our friends, the H.'s, are here and they're waiting out Emma's Embassy appointment. Gabi was absolutely fascinated by Emma's big brothers. She thought they were pretty cool. Gabi also thinks her daddy is pretty delightful. She's been telling him some stories, showing him how her toys really work and spitting raspberries at him. So funny.



Apparently, Gabi is quite the thinker. She often has a thoughtful look on her face with her tongue sticking out. She must be concentrating very hard.

Nana, the Mozart Music Box was a big hit, just like with her cousins. She's very intrigued.

Here's what many of you have been waiting for. The red spots on her face and arms are bug bites. I'm not sure what got a hold of her, but it did a good job. She's so sweet, she's hard to resist...

Gabi wearing her new pink cowboy boots from GG and Grumps. Yeehaw!!!

Our little Elf-in-training

Loafing

We have spent the last few days in MTV just hanging around. I cannot remember a Christmas that has ever been this laid back. We always run around like crazy and we're always traveling. Since we don't leave until Wednesday afternoon to catch our Thursday flight to Guatemala, we're just taking it easy. It has been so nice.

No news in terms of progress with our case. There has been none. It makes me tired just thinking of it. We hope that the document that is required can be picked up some time this week. I'm not very optimistic, but it's a possibility. Have a wonderful Christmas!

One Week from Today...

...we will be holding our girl again. I cannot wait to see her joyous smile and kiss her sweet cheeks. She truly is the joy of our life.

I have to say that God is really working on my heart. He knows how frustrated I am, but He has given me many, many moments of peace over the last few days. Kristin continues to reassure me that His timing is perfect and this WILL all make sense. If I don't talk to anyone about the adoption and I don't re-tell our story, I'm fine. I can cope with it. Edward says probably 10 times a day, "I just want her home."

Anyway, I'm packing for Gabi and myself for our trip next week. In the meantime, we'll be in MtV for Christmas and I have to work a couple of days. Hopefully, this will keep me busy enough to celebrate Christmas.

Officially Not In

I spoke to our translator again tonight. We are not back in PGN and there is no predictable date for resubmission. The Civil Registry that is responsible for our document correction is working at 50% staff because of the holiday. As a result, each time that our attorney calls to see if it is finished, he is told to call tomorrow. I know for a fact that in Guatemala this could go on indefinitely. I believe in my heart that if he went in person and put some respectful pressure on them, they would complete it while he waited. Unfortunately, this is an incredibly busy time for adoptions, magnified by the impending closure on January 1. Therefore, I'm sure we are last on the list of priorities. I oscillate between extreme anger about this and bottomless sadness. The anger stems from the fact that I believe that we should be priority simply because this is our attorney's error for not catching it sooner. Had he done his job initially, this paperwork would not be an issue at this busy time of year. I can't believe that we'll be there next week and we won't even be in PGN. I literally want to scream and then cry and then go to bed for a week.

I hope you are all ready for the holidays. Good luck with your patience with the Christmas crowds!

Still Waiting

No news on whether we are back in PGN yet. I've spoken to our translator over the last two days and he is waiting for a call back from the attorney. He says that he is very busy because this is a crucial week-- presumably because of the looming deadlines for Dec. 31 and Jan. 1. So I am supposed to call back this evening to hear if we're back in. I hope our attorney is busy because he got the necessary paperwork and is dropping it off at PGN.

For the record, I have it on very good authority that your prayers are working! PLEASE keep them coming.

Thanks to Mrs. Sammons' Class and so many more

Thank you so much everyone for your thoughts and prayers! I know how much you are all pulling for us and I hate to disappoint you by being so negative. On the other hand, it isn't very honest to act as if this process isn't taking a brutal toll.

But thank you. It was wonderful to wake up this morning and see those 4 loving, supportive comments. Mo-- I hope you know how much I appreciate your generous, loving heart. I feel that way about all of you. You are all such blessings to us. And I just checked the blog again to discover an additional 20 comments were added. Imagine my surprise! Thank you Aunt Sue for your behind the scenes efforts to lift our troubled spirits. You are one of a kind. We love you! Thank you Mrs. Sammons' class for your kind words. We can't wait for Gabi to meet all of you too. Have a wonderful Christmas and Happy New Year!

Still not "In"

I spoke to our translator again today. He told me last Saturday that our lawyer expected us to be back in PGN on Wednesday or Thursday of this week. So I not-so-patiently waited until this afternoon to call and find out if we were back in. We are not. The new expected date is Monday or Tuesday. There literally are not words for the frustration, anger and helplessness I feel. I truly feel in some moments that this might never happen for us.

This blog is not about a pity party for me, or us. But it is a journal of this experience. So in the interest of being completely frank, I will say exactly what I feel. What is it that we have done to make the simple act of creating a family so difficult? What did we do to deserve the profound, perseverative pain of not having a child of our own? And as I asked my dear friend Kristin, when is it our turn? She assures me that I will understand why all of this pain had to be endured once Gabi is home. She knows, better than anyone, EXACTLY how I feel. She just went through the exact same thing. But I can't help but think-- why does it happen for everyone around us, but never us.

I never felt a sense of betrayal when friends got pregnant. I never felt that way when they brought their children home from their birth countries. But the truth of the matter is, I feel that way now. And no matter how much I try to squelch it, it is very, very real. I am sick and tired of having to "trust" that it will happen to us because it happens to others. I would do just about anything to be able to know it from my/our own experience. I am tired of seeing every single one of our friends have/or bring home their children while we wait, what I would consider up until now, VERY PATIENTLY.

I know how unfaithful I sound. And I'm sure God is sick and tired of my doubting. I know how He feels. I'm sick and tired too. But I truly don't have it in me to deny the doubts and pure sadness that I feel. I've never in my life felt so desperate and brokenhearted.

One last thing-- I've always found it very unsettling how cautious newly pregnant parents have to be after the experience of a miscarriage. Many friends and family members have been through this and I've watched as they thwart the happiness that they desperately want to feel, but can't because of the reality of what they just lost. This is yet another moment that is stolen from them. This is what I feel today and so many days. Kristin begs me not to get my heart set on a date for Gabi's possible homecoming. And I try so hard not to, so I won't be disappointed. But dammit, I am sick of the joys that have been stolen from us through the years of infertility and the continued setbacks in this adoption. I just want to celebrate my child the same way so many others have been blessed to do. Is that really so much to ask after so many challenges in this arena? Please, somebody set me straight.

A Different Christmas Poem

This Christmas please don't forget our soldiers. Many of them will spend this year away from their families.

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.
Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.
The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.
My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.

The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know, Then the
sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.
My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.

A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.
"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,
"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"

For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts.
To the window that danced with a warm fire's light
Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right,
I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night."
"It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.
No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.
My Gramps died at ' Pearl on a day in December,"
Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers."
My dad stood his watch in the jungles of ' Nam ',
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.
I've not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile."

Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, white, and blue... an American flag.
"I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.
I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother..
Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."
"So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."
"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,
"Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife and your son."
Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,

"Just tell us you love us, and never forget.
To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.
For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled.
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us."

Pending Adoption Cases will be Grandfathered In!

Wonderful news came today! A law was passed in the Guatemalan Congress that allows all adoption cases pending to be grandfathered in and not be subject to new requirements. This particular situation has left many of us on pins and needles since September when the President of Guatemala suggested that those cases not completed by December 31 would never be completed. Read below to get the story released by the AP today.

New Adoption Law Approved
Associated Press article
December 11, 2007

-----------------------------------------------------------
New Guatemala Adoption Law Approved
By JUAN CARLOS LLORCA – 27 minutes ago

GUATEMALA (AP) — Guatemalan legislators approved a new law Tuesday to tighten adoptions, while allowing pending adoptions — mostly to U.S. couples — to go through without meeting the stricter requirements.

The legislation had upset thousands of would-be parents who had invested their savings to adopt a child from Guatemala, which is second only to China in sending adoptive children to the United States. Many feared thousands of children would be left in limbo.

However, the law approved by Congress stipulates that pending adoptions, some 3,700 children already matched with prospective parents, will be allowed to move forward without being subject to the new rules.

The law, aimed at cleaning up an adoption process that critics say allows birth mothers to sell their babies, will take effect next year. It requires the signature of President Oscar Berger.

"Starting Dec. 31, the business of adoptions is over," said lawmaker Rolando Morales, one of the measure's biggest supporters.

Adoptions in Guatemala are now handled exclusively by notaries who work with birth mothers, determine if babies were surrendered willingly, hire foster mothers and handle all the paperwork.

Notaries charge an average of $30,000 for children delivered in about nine months — record time for international adoptions. The process is so quick that one in every 100 Guatemalan children now grow up as an adopted American; Guatemala sent 4,135 children to the U.S. last year.

Mystery Solved

What a pretty, pretty girl!

Hilary was the mysterious sender of the Houston pillow. Thanks, Hil! We love it. It's our first pro-Houston item in the house. We're getting more and more excited every day. There is a ton of stuff to do, lots of family-oriented things, lots of cultural activities and a huge Hispanic population. This means that there will be a lot of holiday celebrations for Latino holidays. This will make it much easier to teach Gabi about her culture.

So serious!

We're getting very anxious. We even have our first friend visit scheduled. Mary-Kelsey will be heading down in early August to visit us. By "us" I mean Gabi. She's very upset that I've been teasing her with this adorable child for so long and now I'm taking her away. She simply won't have it. So she's signed up for an August trip. I just have to have her room ready and the pool cooled down for her arrival. Of course, this news was very unsettling to my mom, who is in constant competition with everyone about everything. She won't be outdone. She'll probably find out when MK is coming and buy her ticket for the week before.

And when Jane finds this out, it will be a free-for-all. Little do they know, I'll be calling on them to help us get settled. We've moved A LOT! But we've never moved with a toddler in the house. I feel certain that one or both of them will happily sign up for babysitting duty while I unpack boxes. Lucky devils!!!

Who's Responsible?

For the incredible Houston pillow that we received today? It's awesome and we love it. But we do NOT know who it is from. So fess up, giver.

Small News

We spoke to our agency and our translator in Guatemala. The news is that we should be back in PGN on Wednesday or Thursday of this week. Lucky us. We can start counting toward 8 weeks again. Actually, we're very relieved about this. This IS actually good news. I'll call on Thursday to make sure this is the case.

From this point on, we'll be praying that we get out of PGN sooner rather than later. We ask that you continue to pray for our case. Specifically, that this is our last kickout and a quick approval. Secondly, please pray for Gabi's foster sister, Ella. After their difficult start and 6 month stay in Family Court, we are asking people to pray for a quick stay in PGN with no kickouts. And finally, we are waiting to hear if Emma H. will be able to come home before Christmas or if they will have to wait until after the holidays. Unfortunately, the US Embassy announced that they will be issuing NO appointments between December 24 and January 1.

A Few Pics to Lift our Spirits

Here is another video that is pretty funny of our girl. She is such a kicker and her legs start flailing when she gets excited. I just love seeing her personality coming through in these pictures and videos. Enjoy!!

A Minor Change

Since we received the referral of our beautiful daughter, I have really struggled with something. We love the name Gabriella Sol. I mean love it. But we did not expect to love our peanut's given name. Some of you know that we were matched with her because of her name.

Here's the story-- after we lost the referral of our first daughter Karen, our agency contacted us about a new referral. At the time, they had 3 little girls who were waiting to be matched with families. Because of our situation, they wanted to make sure that we were matched with one of those babies. As a result, we were asked if we wanted them to choose one of the girls for us, if we wanted the youngest or what. Our first concern was that we wanted to know some information about the baby. We wanted to know if her birthmother was a minor (this can complicate things substantially) and a few other things. Basically, all of these babies were statistically the same. They were all March babies, all girls, all healthy full-term infants with major birthmothers. So what do you do? It isn't like picking a baby out of a catalog. These babies were so beautiful and tiny and needed families.

Ed and I looked at each other with absolute confusion. What were we to do? How could we make that decision? One of the girls shared my sister's birthday. I was drawn to her. Then Ed said, "Sharing birthdays is only cool for about a second." So I said, "Do you feel a connection to any of these girls more than the others?" His reply was "Yes. Lili." Both Ed and I have great-aunts named Lillian. Neither of these women were able to have children. We have talked about this odd coincidence over the years and how much we love the names Lillian and Lili. Imagine the irony we felt when we realized that our daughter Lili was right in front of us.

I tell this long-winded story because I have struggled with naming Gabi for months. I knew that she was a Gabi, but I wasn't sure that she was NOT a Lili. How could we leave behind the name that her birthmother gave her that so clearly told us that she was ours? The answer is-- we couldn't. After much discussion about how to incorporate her given name, we have arrived at a conclusion.

Her name will be Gabriella Lilisol A. She will still be referred to as Gabi Sol, Gabriella or Gabi. But now my heart doesn't hurt so much knowing that we left her with this piece of her birthmother who loved her so much. And we feel like we are honoring our relatives who have struggled with the same issues so many years ago that we have.

Christmas Prep

I decorated the tree and the rest of the house as much as it's going to be done this year. It will all stay up until Gabriella Sol comes home, even if it is June. I love decorating for Christmas. Much of the joy is muted this year as a result of Gab's delayed homecoming. Regardless, this time of year warms my heart for many reasons and I will not allow that to be taken away.

I love decorating because many of our Christmas decorations were passed down from family and others have been collected from all over the world. We have ornaments from China, Korea, Germany, Poland, Czech Republic, UK, Guatemala and many others. Our treetop star is cloisonnes and we bought it when visiting China in 1999. When Ed was stationed in Iraq, many family and friends sent ornaments that represented them and his mom sent a small tree with which to display them. So a lot of our ornaments have pictures of people we love. Some of his are ornaments that were given to him from the time he was born. So are some of mine. The first Christmas we were married and living in Korea, my sister and brother-in-law sent us a huge box of decorations for our first tree and apartment. She sent bows, ribbons, lights, wreaths and a bunch of other stuff. I love getting it out and thinking about our first far away Christmas. It is impossible to decorate the tree and not feel connected to the many people we love. That is what Christmas is about to me.

One of the favorite things that we have been given is a Christmas village that belonged to Grandmother A. Over the years we've received more and more pieces until we finally have them all. She collected them for years. Every time we get it out, I get to remember wonderful things about Grandmother. She was the quintessential lady. Graceful, poised, intelligent, beautiful and very, very kind. I love thinking that we get to share this piece of her home. I obviously didn't get to know her the way Edward and Hilary did, but I loved her very much. And I love thinking of her every time I look at that village.

Finally, we got to put Gabi's stocking up this year. We thought we would be sharing this important holiday with her. Unfortunately, that isn't what God had in mind. It is bittersweet to see that stocking that her GG picked out for her hanging next to ours and know that she won't be here. That's why the decorations will stay up until she's home.

Big News!

Don't get too excited. It isn't about Gabi coming home. Ed accepted an offer today for a new job after he graduates. Houston--here we come!!! I wasn't all that thrilled about this prospect because I was really looking forward to being in the Chicago area or, at least, in the Midwest. Yet, like most things, once I latched onto the idea I got pretty excited. I've been looking at houses online for 2 days. Haha. It helped to know that Liza, my sister and my parents were so excited for us. I haven't gotten to tell Hilary yet.

I told Ed that I will face a major challenge living in Houston-- I might sweat to death. I'm one of the hottest natured people I know (who is pre-menopausal, mind you) and Houston is stinkin' hot. So the compromise is that I MUST have a pool. Ed promised me that I can have a pool. And with Gabi being such a little waterbug, she'll need a pool too.

So starting next summer, plan your winter vacations in Houston.

I spoke to our translator in Guatemala today. He assured me that our previo is being worked on. I will speak to him again on Tuesday, if not sooner, after he has a chance to talk to our attorney for another status report. I hope to have good news-- like that we're back in the abyss that is PGN. I know many of you have been on serious prayer duty. Please don't stop. And please keep our friends, Ella's family, in them as well. We certainly hope that their time in PGN is quick and efficient. Thanks!