Missing our pumpkin...

Edward and I have both really been missing Gabi Sol over the last couple of weeks. When I thought about it, I realized that it has been a month and a half since we've seen her. The last time we hadn't seen her for a month and a half, we were getting ready to leave for our second visit trip. So that eliminated some of the strain of missing her so much. At this point, we're looking at Christmas as the next time we're going to see her and it's just painful. I've been trying to come up with any project that might make me feel closer to her. I'm just about at the point that I want to sleep in her room with all of the things that she's worn or played with. I know-- it's a sickness. Edward almost can't stand it. We just want to hold her again.

I would never trade the time we've had with our precious daughter, but knowing her smell and feel and cry and laugh does make it harder to be away from her. So I put together another slide show of some of my favorite shots of our little pumpkin. Just bear with me.

Please Sign this Petition to get Gabriella HOME!

This doesn't just apply to Gabriella. This petition can help make a difference in all the orphans in Guatemala at this time. Please sign it electronically to let our leaders know what dire circumstances adoptions are in.

Sign the petition!!!!

DOS speaks

The Dept. of State has issued a warning to families adopting from Guatemala (DOS article). In response to that statement, Guatemala's president has said that any adoptions in Guatemala that are not out of PGN by January 1 will not be released. There will be no grandfathering in of cases which are awaiting approval. January 1st marks the date that the Hague Treaty is to be formally dealt with by Guatemala's government. This is unconstitutional according to the Hague, but like everything else, the Guat. government makes up the rules as they go. This issue will go before their Congress. We're praying that the unconstitutionality of it will prevail. Stay tuned.

In other news, prayers for the family of Gabi's foster sister, Ella, would be appreciated. There has been a lot of upheaval with their case over the last few days. We're waiting to see how it plays out. But the family is very stressed and worried, and rightly so. They want their daughter home, just like the rest of us.

Stay with us as we navigate the most difficult steps of the process thus far. We need prayers more than ever.

Happy 6 Months Old!

Happy Half-year, Gabriella! We miss you and love you. We can't wait for you to come home. You're such a big girl that we'll have to be on our toes when you get here.

Will We Ever Be the Same?

I know that people say that they forget about how painful labor was once the baby is here. And APs say they forget the pain of the wait and paperwork once their baby is home forever. I know that. But I wonder if I will ever trust again after this process. I'm not sure I will ever see the world in the same way.

Let's be fair. I have witnessed extraordinary acts of kindness and support throughout this process. That is amazing and wonderful. However, I have also witnessed individuals whose priorities are so excruciatingly misaligned that I can't really comprehend it. I am not so naive that I don't understand that money makes the world go round. I certainly get that. And throughout this process, I have seen it firsthand repeatedly. The ease with which people use children (in this case) as a product with which to turn an ever-expanding profit is mind-boggling.

Many people do not realize that it's not just those people who are having their palms blatantly greased. It's the PGN reviewers who won't sign off on cases quickly because it might nullify their jobs. It's the attorneys who take on more cases than they can manage efficiently. It's the foster families who do it for the money and not for the love of the children (This is NOT the case with Jackelin, mind you.) It's the political system that produces and enforces policies that are in opposition to the health and well-being of the children. It's everyone who plays a role in the extremely corrupt system that makes up Guatemalan adoptions. And as someone who is contributing financially to that system, I carry a lot of guilt. I do believe that just because a child is born in Rwanda or Ukraine or Guatemala doesn't mean that she doesn't deserve every chance at an incredible life. And so I do think that these children deserve better. I think that someone should grow a conscience and do something about it.

And so I am making a commitment to do something. I don't know what it will be. But I promise to do something to make the lives of children in this world better. Maybe it will be through missions or financial contributions or projects. And it may be embarrassingly small in relative terms. But something is better than nothing on any day of the week. (I feel like I'm shaking my fist in a factory from "Norma Rae") But I will do something. Because my God has taught me all along that amazing things are sometimes born from terrible circumstances. And the strength to work in that comes only from Him.

Plans for the Future

Since the recent development of our case being re-submitted to PGN, we've been pondering what exactly to do about the holidays. Should we go at Thanksgiving? Should we go for Christmas? Should we go and stay?

We received permission from our agency to travel over Christmas and have our sweet girl with us. Our agent remains hopeful that we'll have her home before Christmas, or at the very least, we'll be out of PGN by mid-November. So we're planning to spend Christmas in Guatemala with our Gabriella and depending on the status of our case, we'll decide whether or not I'll just stay down there with her until she comes home.

The upside of this is that we're already starting to make plans with friends we made in Guatemala. Rob and Amy are currently expecting to spend the holidays there with their two boys and their new daughter, Emma. Gabi's foster sister's family may also be in Guat. during this time. At least we'll know that we won't spend the holidays alone. We'll spend it with people who desperately want to be with their children for their first Christmas. Ed and I are very accustomed to making the holidays as wonderful as they can be when we're far away from home. We've forged incredibly strong friendships in doing so. This is like being in the military all over again.

We hope that we have her home before Christmas, but if not, we'll be blessed with people in similar circumstances. Yet one more way God is comforting us in the trials of this process.

Correction...

We just got confirmation that Gabi didn't actually enter PGN until September 18th. Yeah! Another 4 days down the drain. Isn't there a saying-- things are looking up? When exactly does that come into play?

I Can't Stand what a Big Girl She is...

Can we just look at her again? In almost every group of pics that we get, there's a picture that makes us laugh. This time, it's this one...

What exactly is the expression on her face? In the pics in the earlier post, she just looks so big. She's fighting to sit up on her own (which she was doing when we were visiting her) and holding her head up so confidently. I want to eat her chunky cheeks! I love her pigtails, but I'm dying to see if her hair really is getting curly like we suspected at our visit. She's so irresistible, I can't stand it. Don't get too big, Gabi. Mama wants to snuggle you while you're little for as long as she can. Te amo, mi princesa!

I Won!

I never win anything. Ever. But today I won an all-expenses paid trip to Boston for the ASHA convention. I am the "Grand Prize Winner." Airfare, hotel, meals and registration to attend the biggest conference for our discipline. I wasn't planning to go this year, but how can you say no when the whole thing is paid for. And Boston is so fabulous! I wouldn't miss it.

The Good, the Bad and the Adorable

We've been very anxiously awaiting photos and an updated medical on our princess and we received it tonight. Gabriella Sol was 14 lbs. at her appointment, which was last week, when she was 5 months, 16 days old. She's in the 25th percentile for weight and about the 20th percentile for height. She looks content. The doctor's report said that she has a strong cry, is babbling, and "explores all." I take this to mean that she is curious and intrigued by her environment. Take a look at our extraordinary, brown-eyed beauty!

Love the expression on her face!

Then the happiness turned to serious disappointment when we found out that our case has now been pulled from the court system and is no longer pending for judicial approval. Our case was re-submitted to PGN last Friday. We've lost 2 weeks time and it looks like we really will be in Guatemala over Christmas this year. There's no place I'd rather be than with my daughter for her very first Christmas, but I'm disappointed that we'll be celebrating in a hotel rather than in our home. Regardless, we're looking at waiting for approval for PGN until around the second to third week of November. That's if we aren't kicked out for any reason. Please pray that Gabriella's case goes smoothly. Please also pray for the families who are caught in this same conundrum. Specifically, Gabi Sol's foster sister, Ella, is waiting for approval with us. Please pray for a speedy approval, patience for all of us and peace with this situation.

Family Pics

I just received some adorable pics of our nephews and I couldn't help but share them. I can't wait for Gabi to meet her cousins. They are a riot.

It comes from every direction

Today, Ed and I went to Effingham to attend a memorial service of a beloved woman. At the reception afterwards, Jane took my brag book of pics of Gabi and shared them with some of her friends. I was embarrassed because we already receive a lot of attention for this adoption. Regardless, several of these women are people I've known for many years. They've always been supportive of Ed and I no matter what our latest drama. I'm always surprised to hear just how much people are rooting for us in this process. In an extended conversation about just how frustrating the process is, I realized yet again just how blessed we really are. No, she still isn't home. But she's being taken care of by someone who really loves her. No, we don't know when she'll be home. But as I was reminded today in mass, God uses our trials to teach us valuable lessons. Mine is usually about patience. Yes, we've been waiting for this angel for a long time, but Gabi is the only child in the world who was meant to be ours. She was, and still is, worth the wait.

I may still need to scream occasionally. But I promise to immediately thank God for our blessings afterwards. Or, on a really good day, before I scream. That's really the best I can offer.

New Blog Feature

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Some gifts say it all!

My friend Amelia gave Gabriella this shirt. She's from Austin, TX and this is the city's current advertising slogan. I love it. And it is very appropriate!

This wooden carving was given to us by Gabi Sol's foster mother. We thought this was a very generous gesture considering how indebted we are to her for taking such good care of our monkey.

Sometimes I even surprise myself

I woke up at 7:30 this morning rearing to go. This is very unusual behavior for me. My sleep is one of my most prized possessions. Third only to Gabi and Edward, I've been known to hurt people who've stood in the way of my precious sleep.

However, I was up and at 'em this morning. We headed out to the farmer's market, bought lots of produce and came home where I started making homemade baby food. Now I have no desire to be crazy organic, granola, vegan, kosher, gluten-free Mom. But I don't like to think of myself as someone who is incapable of making a healthy choice for my daughter because I'm physically incapable of boiling some carrots and mashing them up. No, I'm not going to only feed her homemade food. I live in the real world, people. I'm all about convenience, much to my mother-in-law's dismay, I'm afraid. (If I could cook like Jane, I would cook a lot more. Sadly, I can't, so we eat things that come in boxes sometimes.) But I have no control over what she's eating now. I don't know how Gabi's foster mother is introducing solid foods and if she's being careful about highly allergenic foods or what. So I feel like this is somewhere for me to start with having some say in what our girl eats. I will absolutely opt for commercial food in most cases, but it was worth a try.

It's surprisingly simple. I made 4 different foods-- carrots, sweet potatoes, acorn squash and apples. It ended up filling about 10 ice trays, which will then be transferred to ziploc bags until we need them. They will keep for 6-8 months and I feel like quite the homemaker. Edward tried a couple of them and said they were good, so there's that. It only took me about 2 hours start to finish. That's not bad. I didn't want to do too many things since I'm unsure exactly how big she'll be and what consistency she'll be eating when she gets home. It will definitely be one last thing to think about doing when we're about to go get her. And I'll know for sure that there's no bad stuff in it. This is really just a pre-emptive strike against all the things I'm going to mess up over the duration of Gabriella's life. Ha!

Reagan is OUTTTT, for real this time

Brand New

4 months old

8 months old

13 months old and comin' home!

She's out!!! Praise the Lord! Kristin spoke to PGN today and they confirmed that her file is ready to be picked up. All week I've had the feeling that something was going to happen on Thursday. I kept hoping that I'd get a message. Sure enough, as soon as I walked out of work, I had a text from Kristin that said Reagan was out!

Ed and I are so relieved that her nightmare is over. At this point, Reagan is officially Josh and Kristin's daughter. There is no turning back. They've been waiting for this declaration for 12 months and 2 weeks. That's a long time to love someone so fiercely and have to be away from her. We can't wait to see her face on American soil.

Good News for Anyone Adopting is Good News for Us

I heard from our friend Shannon today that she has her travel date to pick up Isabel. After she got out of PGN, she didn't have to wait long for her appointment. About 4 weeks. She'll travel on September 23rd and get to bring that sweet girl home that week. We're so excited that someone in our group is coming home. That Isabel is a doll and we're thrilled that she's got a mother and grandmother who love her so much! She has no idea how much attention she's about to get when she returns to Cincinnati. We'll be praying for your safe travels.

Please continue to also pray for Reagan's case. We should hear this week. And please keep all of the families who are in our same position (judicial approval) in your prayers as well. We want all of the orphans in the world to ultimately find a home. This is a tall order, I know. But we have to ask God for the blessings we want to receive.

Re-write

After I posted that last post, Kristin called and said that the new timeline for receiving your Embassy appointment after Guat approval is closer to 6-8 weeks-- not the 4-6 weeks it has been over the summer. Part of this has to do with our Embassy's new requirement for a second DNA test. It isn't the actual testing of the sample that is taking so long. The collection and handling of the sample is getting hung up in Guatemala and causing up to 2 weeks in delays. I don't mean to holler, but is it so hard to find someone competent to do a job. Evidently it is. I say, if a person can't get DNA samples in the mail within 2 days, fire him. Hire someone who can. There are plenty of people who need jobs in Guatemala. Surely there is someone there who can make the turnaround of these samples considerably faster. Gabi's first test was in the American lab's hands within 2 days. The whole process- results and all- took 7 days. And this is only one sample-- not 2 like the first test.

Ultimately, I no longer believe that our girl will be home in 2007. Reagan won't be home in October, like we had hoped, either. We're shooting for November for her. Please pray that her case is released from PGN this week. And, Gabi, I guess we'll be spending Christmas in Guatemala with you.

All We Know

We found out on Friday that the estimate for our time in Judicial Approval is about 7 weeks. Apparently, it takes about 3 weeks to get approved and then they hold your dossier for another 3-4 weeks. This is about 2 weeks shorter than the average wait time for PGN right now. Those cases are taking about 9 weeks to get out. There is, of course, no guarantee that it will only take 7 weeks. We'll see. If our case sticks to that timeline, we could have her home any time between the last week in November and the second week of December. If it doesn't, it could be the end of time.
She would be between 8 and 9 months old. We would give anything to have her home for Christmas.

I tend to agree...

There is a website that I often go to in order to better understand what is happening in Guatemalan adoptions. An adoptive parent and child advocate is one of the authors. He's penned this rant that I think says it all. It might help you better understand why it's taking so long to get Gabi home.

Kevin's Rant

The latest we've heard about the judicial approval process is that it takes about 7 weeks. I have no idea how accurate this is, if it's wishful thinking, if it's a conservative guess, or what. But until we hear otherwise, we're going to go with it. I'll start a timer on the bottom of the page to tell us how long until 7 weeks is up. Let's pray that it's sooner rather than later. We are just one of the families experiencing this new approach for adoption approval, to include Gabriella's foster sister, Ella. Please keep them in your prayers as well.

BIG NEWS!

I spoke to our agent today who cleared up the confusion about whether our case has or has not been submitted to PGN. Our Guatemalan attorney who oversees our process has chosen to go a different route than PGN. PGN, the Guatemalan court system who approves adoptions, is a disaster. PGN is a festering boil on the butt of the adoption process in Guatemala. Sorry for the graphic image. It is corrupt, political and indisputably unethical.

There is a second route, apparently, that can be taken to get an adoption approved in Guatemala. This process is called judicial approval. Rather than working your way through the bowels of PGN, the case is reviewed by a judge and s/he issues a ruling. This ruling is then presented to PGN and within 3 days they have the opportunity to nullify it. PGN can only nullify it for good reason; although out of spitefulness they attempt to nullify cases without reason.

Read this article that explains the political turmoil involved in the Guat adoption process, specifically between PGN and the judicial approval process. http://www.guatadopt.com/archives/000696.html#000696

We sincerely hope that this is a good move for our case. There is a possibility that this could be faster. We also have no reason to worry that our case wouldn't be approved since our file was not kicked out of PGN before for problems on the birthmother's side. All of the issues were with our paperwork and they have been rectified. This is a huge plus. We feel hopeful that this will be a beneficial decision for our case. Ultimately, we just want Gabi home before Christmas.

Cutest Ever

Ed went to get the mail today and we received a card from our nephew Spencer. He's about to turn 4 and he's very bright. He wrote us a thank you card for the t-shirts we sent them from Guatemala. This is what it said,

"Dear Edward and Amanda,
Thank you for the shirts. I love Gabi. Does she cry a lot? Does she smile a lot? I can't wait to
hug her.
Love, Spencer"

I could eat him. He is so cute. I wish we were able to see them more. We love you Spencer and Griffin!

Poll Winner

I've been meaning to post this. The winner of the photo contest was the last one. I venture to say it is because of that angel's grin, but I can't be positive. Personally, I'll vote for any picture with her in it. She's the cutest thing I've laid my eyes on in a long time. I'm soooo biased.

Here's the winner!

Still Haven't Heard

We still haven't been told if our file was re-submitted to PGN. We were told that it would be on Friday. We have no confirmation of that... still. And it's Tuesday.

I have a fair amount of patience for parts of this process which are within reasonable parameters. For example, if it was first explained that something would take 30 days, I'll usually give you 40 before I get hostile. However, my patience is very short when I realize that our file may be sitting in our attorney's office waiting to be delivered to the appropriate office. There is no excuse for this, in my mind. After all, this is precisely why we pay our attorney. To oversee our file and make sure each step is completed in a timely manner.

I understand that this seems like I have unreasonable expectations. Perhaps. But I'm also looking at the weather and seeing that Guatemala is about to be pummeled by a hurricane, elections are due next week that will shut down PGN for a few days, and we haven't gotten a medical update on Gabriella in 6 weeks. I'm a little short on understanding.

Are we in PGN or what? Wouldn't you want this face to come home, if she were yours?

I've been looking for this...

This clip was recorded on our video camera while we were in Guatemala, but I didn't have the right cable while we were there. I wasn't able to upload it to the blog. Then I kept procrastinating downloading all of the video we took. This is just one clip that is ADORABLE! She kept laughing at this sound Ed was making. She thought it was so funny.

No News

Usually I take the stance that no news is good news. That does not apply in this process at all. At all. We hoped to hear from our agent today that we were entered into PGN. We were not notified of that. It doesn't mean that it didn't happen, but we know nothing about it. If we did go in, I hope we hear this weekend. Weekends are hard to tolerate when you're waiting for some news. Also, we're still anxiously awaiting the pictures and medical update we've been expecting.