The last few days have been spent with friends having lunch, dinner, watching movies before I head off to foster Gabriella Lilisol. I truly don't need any encouragement to get excited about this little (but HUGE!) adventure. Yet it has been so fun watching people get so worked up about it too. Their enthusiasm is absolutely contagious.
I have one major curiosity left about this process. I'm sure this is different for everyone, but I'm really curious about when the moment will come that I'll realize that she's truly with us. Every time I get ready to visit her, I get so excited and quickly become anxious about the moment that I'll have to leave her again. It isn't overwhelming, but it's there.... looming. Like an enormous black cloud. In the moment that I give her back, I do quite well. But it's all of the moments after that do such a number on me. I already have that anxious feeling that I'm going to have to leave her again. But I DON'T HAVE TO!!!! So my curiosity is... when will I realize that? Will it be when I have her in my arms again, or when Ed goes back home and I stay there with her, or when we're out of PGN, or when we get her visa, or land in St. Louis, or wake up and see her in HER crib at home, or weeks or months later.
Stay tuned to see where I land on this one. I'll be sure to share that unfathomable moment.
Saturday, March 08, 2008
As If I Need any Encouragement...
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9 comments:
This is a really neat blog. Glad I found it. Congrats. She's a beautiful child.
comedysecrets.blogspot.com
It is the most amazing feeling...I think I felt it almost right away after we got him in our arms for-ever:) I did how-ever have such strong sad feelings for the couples still having to give their babies back and go home:( ......
Good Luck! Can't wait to hear!!!
We are so happy for you! I can't wait to see pictures of her in your arms forever. We continue to pray you get out of PGN soon.
Robin & Mike
I think you are going to be surprised at the amount of time I think it will take for it to totally sink in. I remember being in the car coming home from the airport and telling Rob to turn the light on. I just wanted to see that she really was in her car seat. Then once she was home for several days or even the first few weeks, I would go into her room and look at her while she was sleeping---amazed she was really here and ours forever. There wasn't this---she is mine forever moment for me. It has taken time for me to realized she is ours forever. I am so excited for you...I cannot wait to hear about all the upcoming moments you are going to have with Gabi! You are SO SO SO very close! We are still praying you OUT of PGN. I hope you have a great HAPPY/THANKFUL post about being out before you leave!
((((HUGS))))
ooooooo this is what i'm talkin about!!! :) :)
Hey,
If she takes after her "aunts" in MTV she will be putting on the pounds in no time. We seem to celebrate everything with food and you are going to have so many celebrations with Gabi she will be picking it up right away. Ha.We have had the prayer warriors in full speed lately. I know you can feel all our prayers and God's power."God doesn't tell you when he will answer your prayer, but he does tell you that His timing is always perfect." Keep the faith and PUSH.
Love you bunches.
I am soooo excited for you .... trust me it will be the time of your life !!
Hey Amanda,
It is the most wonderful thing knowing that you won't have to give Gabi back. However, it didn't really hit me until I landed in Cincinnati that she was truly mine and I would never have to give her back again. That is an amazing realization. I wish you all the luck and I'm ready to hear PGN out for you. Good luck!
Love,
Shannon and Isabel
Well Amanda the reality hit when we loaded the plane. I knew we could start truely parenting, and we would be able to introduce them to the family. We had 3 take offs on the way home, and each time we landed and took off I would get tears in my eyes. I am so excited for you to finally have this part completed. My husbands famous quote when we got home with the boys was, "the journey is over, but the adventure has just begun."
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